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Nasia Davos

Ask An Ex – Episode 8: How Robin Quit Smoking after 45 Years with the CBQ Method & How Quitting Changed Her Life

by Nasia Davos

Welcome to episode #8 of Ask an Ex.

In this interview, the wonderful Robin Redmond from Massachusetts shares her story of how she quit smoking a pack a day after 45 years with the CBQ Method.

Robin quit more than 3 years ago on June 15, 2017. Like many smokers, she had a healthy lifestyle and diet outside of smoking, but one day she ended up in the ER due to early onset of COPD.
That was when she knew smoking had to do.

She made a few serious attempts using the nicotine patch and other methods to no avail, and in this interview, she shares how she succeeded.

Tune in to watch:
• How her life changed after quitting smoking (including her COPD)
• How she went from missing smoking to knowing she’d never smoke again.
• How she copes with stress as a non-smoker.
• Which part of the CBQ program helped her the most.
• What quitting smoking taught her & her advice to smokers.

Enjoy!

About Ask An Ex

ASK AN EX is a new interview series. Each interview features an inspiring ex-smoker who succeeded with the CBQ Method ™

And they tell you everything – how they did it, what helped them, what challenged them, their fears, motivations and aspirations. 

Because the best person to ask about quitting smoking, is an Ex who’s been exactly where you are right now. 

Every EX shares their unique perspective and wisdom on quitting smoking (because everyone has a unique mix of background, mindset, and experiences). 

And they do it for 1 reason: to help YOU become an EX too. 

Get the CBQ Method Foundational Video & Join our Newsletter here: 
http://bit.ly/startcbq
Join the CBQ Method Facebook Support Community:
http://bit.ly/cbqmethodcommunity
SUBSCRIBE to this channel to get more videos like this to help you quit smoking:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRPLgL5_AAHwtnP9Qwu8tsw?sub_confirmation=1

Filed Under: Ask An Ex

How to Manage Your Emotions Without Smoking

by Nasia Davos

If you’re like me, and most other smokers, you’re probably worried that quitting smoking will make you anxious, irritable, depressed, or lower the quality of your life.

Perhaps you’ve been smoking for a long time and don’t know any other way to cope.  

So how can you manage your emotions without smoking?

Read on to learn:

  • A new way to think about emotions
  • 3 ways to better manage your emotions 
  • How quitting smoking affects your emotions
  • A simple way to avoid lashing out after quitting smoking
  • How long it takes for your brain to feel normal after you quit

Emotions and Quitting Smoking

Almost all smokers use smoking to cope with their emotions. But does smoking really help you manage and navigate your emotions?

Lighting up a cigarette when you’re angry or stressed only helps you ignore the root cause of that emotion and distract yourself for a moment.

So smoking is not a coping mechanism, it’s a distraction mechanism.

Think about it.

If smoking really relieved stress and depression then smokers would be the most relaxed and the happiest people ever. And of course, that’s not the case.

On the contrary, smoking is a source of mental distress all by itself: having cravings, not feeling in control of your life and your health, feeling self-conscious all the time, missing out on precious moments to smoke, feeling guilty, worrying about the cost.

And quitting smoking decreases anxiety and depression. There is a lot of research that shows quitting smoking decreases anxiety and depression even for people with psychiatric disorders. This is huge!

happy-smoke-free-people

Your mental health will improve dramatically after you quit smoking. Yes, there will be an adjustment period after you quit as it takes about 3 months for your brain to recover and start regulating dopamine naturally.

So give your brain time to heal.

In the meantime, there’s no reason you can’t enjoy your life and learn new ways to cope and manage your emotions without smoking

How to Manage Your Emotions without Smoking

Managing your emotions doesn’t mean always feeling good. That’s not real or realistic.

Instead, managing your emotions means navigating the different emotions you experience.

Let’s see 3 ways you can start doing that today.

1. Befriend your Emotions

We tend to think that negative emotions are bad experiences that happen to us, and we need to avoid, drown, or suppress them at any cost.

But what if you were to see your emotions as your ally? Something that happens for you, to serve you.

emotions-as-ally

Emotions are neither good nor bad.

Emotions are just signals.

They show you what to pay attention to. When you have a negative emotion it’s a signal that something needs to change.

For example, if you feel guilt, it means that you did or said something that’s not in alignment with your values.

If you’re overwhelmed this is a signal that you need to prioritize. Feeling anxiety is a signal you need to slow down.

priorities

If you feel down, this is a signal you need to make some changes in how you see a situation, how you act, or how you talk to yourself.

And of course fear, that’s so prominent in quitting smoking, is just a signal that you need to protect yourself and prepare for something.

For example, if you see a car coming your way you feel fear so you can be alert and prepare to run.

And when you feel fear of failure or fear of the unknown this is a signal you need to prepare for what you’re afraid of.

If you are afraid you won’t be able to cope with stress without smoking this is a signal that you need to learn more about how nicotine affects anxiety and prepare for stressful occasions.

All emotions are just signals, and negative emotions can be useful too.

2. Report Your Emotions, Don’t Act On Them

Many of us fear that quitting smoking will make us irritable, get us in trouble, and even ruin our relationships.

Of course, quitting smoking can’t change your personality or turn you into someone you’re not.

And what gets us in trouble with other people is not the experience of any emotion but our behavior. Being angry doesn’t get us in trouble, the way we express it does.

You may not be able to – and you don’t have to – change the emotion you’re experiencing. But you can change how you show it.

When you catch yourself feeling irritated, acknowledge it and don’t bottle it up.

Keeping anger and irritation inside may cause you to snap at your friends and your loved ones at a later time and then blame quitting smoking for it.

Remember, it’s okay to feel angry whether you’re a smoker or a non-smoker. When you do, take a few deep breaths and report your feelings, don’t act on them.

In other words, don’t show anger with your behavior. Instead, say: I feel that way… This irritates me….

Lashing Out

We usually lash out because we’re not responding to the event that happened, we’re responding to the meaning we give to that event.

We’re responding to the meaning we give to what happened. 

We had a member in our CBQ program who was struggling with how he showed his anger, and he was worried that after quitting smoking, his anger would get worse.

And after talking to him, he realized that the reason he got angry was because of how he interpreted things. He took things very personally.

And I think that’s true for most of us when we feel angry. We take things personally.

manage emotions without smoking

“He did that… this means I am not valued,” “She did that, it means she didn’t listen to me,” or “She doesn’t care about me and what I want.”

We make it about us and this makes us feel angry.

And even if at times we’re right to take things personally, lashing out never helps.

When you notice you’re feeling irritated, ask yourself:

“Is this about me?”

“What else could this mean?”

…and report your emotions. don’t act on them.

Say, “I feel that way.. this makes me think that …you don’t value me/ you don’t care about me.” This will help you express how you feel and also allow the other person to explain. It’s a win-win!

3. Start Developing Healthy Coping Skills

As we mentioned a few moments ago, smoking is not a coping mechanism it’s a distraction mechanism.

However, if it is the only coping tool you ever used or knew, it’s natural that you’re going to experience a void when it’s gone. So you need to fill that void with healthy coping strategies.

Some examples of healthy coping strategies are a daily 10- minute self-care routine, journaling, or meditation. You need to experiment with different things and see what works best for you.

And if you’re struggling to implement or learn healthy coping skills, asking for help, even professional help, is going to benefit you a lot.

The Best Coping Strategy

My favorite coping strategy is something that helps you take a step back and relax. You can do it anywhere and it’s very simple because it has to do with your breathing.

Our emotions affect our breathing.

For example, how do you breathe when you’re stressed, angry or tense?

Your breathing is shallow, fast, and interrupted.

And how do you breathe when you feel relaxed, relieved, or calm?

Your breathing is deep and slow.

Our emotional state affects our breathing. Same way, we can affect our emotions by changing our breathing.

When you’re stressed your breathing is tense. So as you inhale the first few puffs of a cigarette, your breathing has to change and become deep and slow. Otherwise, you can’t smoke!

So what really happens when you smoke, is that you inhale deeply and slowly. So you feel relaxed thinking the cigarette helped.

But in reality it was the deep and slow breathing that relaxed you. Not the cigarette.

And you can relax without smoking, just by breathing deeply as if you were smoking a cigarette.

Our emotions are a huge smoking trigger and learning how to weaken your triggers and your response to them is part of the third stage of the CBQ Method.

The CBQ Method has 4 stages in total and these 4 stages help you overcome the mental addiction and change how you think and feel about smoking so you can quit easily.

So if you want to start with the CBQ method, make sure you get the foundational video of the CBQ.

In that free video, I show you the 4 stages of the CBQ method, how they work together, and tips to get started with every stage. You’ll get an overview of your quit smoking journey and a PDF starter guide for the CBQ method with tips and notes you can use along your journey.

Get the foundational video of the CBQ Method here. 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

3 Mental Health Benefits of Quitting Smoking

by Nasia Davos

Do you know all the mental health benefits of quitting smoking?

You probably already know that quitting will improve every part of your body. (If no, don’t worry! You can see what happens when you quit smoking here)

But what about your mental health?

Maybe, if you’re like me and most other smokers, you’re afraid that quitting will make you anxious, depressed, and unhappy. But that’s not the case.

And if you quit in the past but didn’t experience any mental health benefits, I will explain why this happened to you in a moment.

Now let me show you the best 3 mental health benefits of quitting smoking.

1. Increased Confidence

Quitting smoking increases your external confidence because you have whiter teeth, smell better, have brighter and tighter skin, and look younger.

Specifically, when you stop smoking, you slow down facial aging and the appearance of wrinkles, and you start reversing the effects smoking has on your appearance. Your skin gets more nutrients and oxygen, so you look younger.

You also look more vibrant and healthy, and health is beauty.

happy non-smokerBut, most importantly, quitting will also increase your internal confidence.

Breaking free from smoking is going to be one of the most important achievements of your life. And this achievement creates a point of reference that you can do anything you put your mind to. It becomes proof that you can achieve hard things, and this success can have a positive domino effect on your life.

Many of our members quit smoking and then go on to lose weight, overcome other addictions and bad habits, achieve more life goals, try new experiences, and stand up for themselves more. Quitting smoking can change your life in so many ways.

And if you’re already someone who can do anything but quit smoking…just imagine how great you will feel once you’re free and tackle this goal too.

It’s going to give you unshakeable confidence. Because no one can take away the confidence that comes from knowing you did something you once thought impossible.

However, to experience the quit smoking benefit of confidence, you need to own your non-smoking identity.

What do I mean?

If you’re a deprived ex-smoker and tell everyone how hard it was to quit or how much you miss smoking… you’re not owning your non-smoking identity.

Instead, you need to wear your non-smoking identity as an armor of confidence that allows you to achieve anything you want to.

confidence quit smoking benefitWill this feeling of confidence last?

Yes! Don’t get me wrong, you’re going to have difficult days as a nonsmoker – that’s part of life. But the longer you stay smoke-free, the more your confidence will increase.

Every single day you’re smoke-free is an achievement until the days add up and become part of who you are.

benefits of quitting smoking better breathing2. Increased Happiness

Another benefit of quitting smoking is that it will make you happier. Yes, letting go of this addiction increases your happiness!

Right now, you may think that quitting smoking will make you unhappy. You’re not alone!

You may even say that you prefer to smoke and live a short life and enjoy it…rather than a long life where you’re unhappy without cigarettes.

When we’re addicted, we tend to mistake addiction for happiness. Addiction is not happiness.

So this is not a real trade-off that you’re prepared to make. What you’re actually trading off by quitting smoking is a life of addiction with a life of freedom.

mental health benefits of quitting smokingBecause living with addiction is like living a lie.

What addiction does is it makes you believe you can’t live without the thing you’re addicted to.

For example, if you ask heroin addicts, “Why do you use heroin?”…. their genuine answer is “I can’t cope without it,” “I can’t live without it,” “I can’t be happy without it.”

If someone told you that, what would you think? You’d think that heroin is making them feel unhappy, right?

It’s way easier to see the truth when we look at other addictions. But the same thing applies to nicotine addiction. Being addicted decreases your happiness and quality of life.

Nicotine is the problem, not the solution.

– CBQ Method Principles

A study by the Cancer Research UK shows that just one year after quitting, ex-smokers are happier than before and are also happier than current smokers.

You’re also going to see this from your own experience.

You’re probably not going to smoke your last cigarette and wake up the next day feeling euphoric. This can happen, but for most of us, there needs to be a period of adjustment where our brain heals and regulates its dopamine.

But this adjustment period, also called withdrawal, leads to a better and happier future.

happiness quitting smokingWhat does being happy mean to you?

Perhaps it’s to be at peace, enjoy every moment of life, feel free, grow emotionally and spiritually, and be there for your loved ones.

Whatever happiness is for you, ask yourself, Is smoking offering you those things? Or is it taking them away?

What smoking adds to your life is guilt, agony, and worry. How is that happiness?

benefits of quitting smoking less anxiety

3. Decreased Anxiety & Depression

One of the most overlooked benefits of quitting smoking is the reduced anxiety and depression that come after the adjustment period.

Most smokers are afraid that quitting will increase their anxiety and depression and that they won’t be able to cope and manage their emotions without cigarettes.

But smoking does not help you manage your emotions; it helps you ignore the root cause and distract yourself for a moment.

So smoking is not a coping mechanism; it’s a distraction mechanism.

smoking coping mechanismThink about it.

If smoking really relieved stress and depression, then smokers would be the most relaxed and the happiest people ever, and of course, that’s not the case.

Smoking is a source of mental distress all by itself: having cravings, not feeling in control of your life and your health, feeling self-conscious all the time, missing out on precious moments to smoke, worrying about your health….

The truth is that quitting smoking decreases anxiety and depression; you’re going to feel so much better. Because when you stop smoking, you also get rid off:

  • The cravings that cause you stress, tension, and agitation all day long
  • Obsessing and worrying about your next cigarette
  • Having health anxiety
  • Running out of cigarettes and worrying if you have enough
  • Smelling and worrying about the smell
  • Rearranging your life to smoke
  • Feeling guilty about smoking

How relaxing is that?!

A study gathered data from 26 other studies on the mental health, depression, anxiety, and mixed anxiety and depression of smokers.

studies on smoking cessation mental healthAnd they found that quitting smoking reduced depression and anxiety and improved positive mood and quality of life –  even for smokers with psychiatric disorders and even for smokers with mood and anxiety disorders.

In fact, for those with mood and anxiety disorders quitting smoking was as effective as antidepressant treatment.

So not smoking anymore was as effective as taking medication.

This says a lot about what smoking does to your brain.

Even though you may feel smoking relieves your stress momentarily, being addicted actually creates and aggravates negative emotions.

Every cigarette you smoke relieves your craving and, at the same time, causes the next craving to come along. This is a neverending vicious cycle.

Why does smoking seem to relieve stress?  Why do you feel relaxed after taking a few puffs? I explain everything you need to know about nicotine and anxiety here.

Why Didn’t You Experience Any Mental Health Quit Smoking Benefits Last Time You Quit?

What if you quit and felt unhappy, stressed, or depressed?

There are a few things to consider here.

1. You didn’t go through the adjustment period.

It takes about 3 months for your brain to recover and start regulating dopamine naturally.

So you need to give your brain time to heal. But there’s no reason you can’t enjoy life in the meantime!

You can increase your dopamine in other ways. Exercise, nutrition, education, staying motivated, and asking for help are great ways to navigate the first months of your smokefree life.

If you feel bad, remember that smoking caused you to feel that way – not stopping smoking. Nicotine is the problem, not the solution.

sad man depression2. You quit, but you were still mentally addicted.

It’s possible that you quit smoking, but you still believed that smoking added value to your life, so you felt deprived.

Of course, believing that smoking is your friend and helps you through tough times is just a belief created and sustained by the mental addiction.

The solution here is to work on your mental addiction so you can stop wanting to smoke. It’s never too late to overcome the mental addiction, even if you have already quit.

3. You didn’t use or learn new coping skills.

Like we mentioned a few lines above, smoking is not a coping mechanism; it’s a distraction mechanism. However, if it is the only coping tool you ever used or knew, it’s natural that you’re going to experience a void when it’s gone. So you need to fill that void with healthy coping strategies. And if you do, it’s going to change your life forever.

To sum up:

Quitting smoking will improve your mental health by increasing your external and internal confidence, by increasing your happiness, and dramatically decreasing your anxiety and depression.

How to Start Experiencing All the Benefits of Quitting Smoking

I want you to imagine something real quick.

Imagine it’s been almost three months, and you haven’t had a single puff.

You are over the moon. Not because you can stop yourself from buying a pack. But because you are enjoying being a non-smoker.

Sounds amazing, right?

quit smoking benefitsThe quit smoking benefits you will experience… are invaluable! Not only will you get your health back, but you will also enjoy life better than before.

That’s what thousands of smokers have achieved by overcoming their mental addiction with the CBQ method.

CBQ stands for Cognitive Behavioral Quitting, and it’s a psychology-based method that has reached and helped millions of smokers over the last decade. It’s the same method I talked about in my TED talk, and it works because it follows the 4 stages of quitting smoking.

These 4 stages take you from where you are now to a happy non-smoker.

So if you want to start with the CBQ method, make sure you get the foundational video of the CBQ.

In that video, I show you the 4 stages of the CBQ method, how they work together, and tips to get started with every stage. You’ll get an overview of your whole quit smoking journey from start to finish and a PDF starter guide for the CBQ method with tips and notes you can use along your journey.

Get the foundational video of the CBQ Method here. 

Filed Under: Health, Motivation

Ask An Ex – Episode 7: How Elinor Quit Smoking after 55 Years & How Her Faith in God Helped Her Succeed

by Nasia Davos

Welcome to episode #7 of Ask an Ex.

In this video, the inspirational Elinor Fibel from South Carolina shares her story of how she quit smoking 2 and a half packs a day after 55 years with the CBQ Method.

Elinor quit on the 11th of November 2018 after trying all available stop smoking methods, some of them more than once!

And she explains how her faith in God played a huge role in her success and how it helped her decide to quit smoking and remain smoke-free.

Tune in to watch:

  • Why it’s important to have a support system when you quit smoking
  • What happened when Elinor smoked her last cigarette after 55 years
  • Tips and inspiring words to quit smoking and overcome challenging cravings.

Enjoy!

About Ask An Ex

ASK AN EX is a new interview series. Each interview features an inspiring ex-smoker who succeeded with the CBQ Method ™

And they tell you everything – how they did it, what helped them, what challenged them, their fears, motivations and aspirations. 

Because the best person to ask about quitting smoking, is an Ex who’s been exactly where you are right now. 

Every EX shares their unique perspective and wisdom on quitting smoking (because everyone has a unique mix of background, mindset, and experiences). 

And they do it for 1 reason: to help YOU become an EX too. 

Get the CBQ Method Foundational Video & Join our Newsletter here: 
http://bit.ly/startcbq
Join the CBQ Method Facebook Support Community:
http://bit.ly/cbqmethodcommunity
SUBSCRIBE to this channel to get more videos like this to help you quit smoking:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRPLgL5_AAHwtnP9Qwu8tsw?sub_confirmation=1

Transcript

“Whatever way you can get through it, whether it’s exercise or doing like I did, praying or whatever else it is, get a hobby. Whatever it is to get your mind off of it. Because once your mind is off of it, the urges go away. They truly do. And for the 55 years that I’ve been smoking, I’ve never ever thought that I would be a non-smoker.”

Hi everyone, this is Nasia Davos, and welcome to this episode of Ask An Ex. Today, you’ll hear from someone who joined our CBQ program and has a very inspiring story. So if you worry you can’t quit because you’ve been smoking for many years, or if you have tried everything to no avail, stay with us because the ex I have with me today did something that many think is impossible to do. She quit after smoking two and a half packs a day for 55 years and trying all sorts of methods, and she’s here to tell you how she did it. Please welcome Elinor Fibel.

Nasia: Hi Elinor, thank you so much for being here.

Elinor: Hello.

Nasia: So your one year anniversary is coming up, right?

Elinor: Oh yeah, in less than a week. I’m excited.

Nasia: Yes, as you should be. So you quit on the 11th of November 2018?

Elinor: Yes, absolutely. And it was a milestone. It really was. I never thought I’d be able to quit smoking at all. I’ve tried so many different ways in which to quit. From patches to cold turkey, to waning off, hypnosis and patches, and medication, nothing got me to stop.

Nasia: So you really have tried everything.

Elinor: Oh, everything. Absolutely. More than once.

Nasia: But you did it, so huge congratulations! What a great achievement.

Elinor: Yes, I don’t believe that it was me. I believe that the inspiration started with God for me. I’m a new Christian, a little over a year now, or two years I should say. As I was reading the bible one day, I came across this area that God was talking about having addictions and overdoing things. And of course, he spoke of things like food, like gluttony and sex and things of that nature. But he was talking in general as well, and I said to myself, “I guess that means smoking.” I started to think about it and started to say, “Well, if I want to be a good Christian, I have to quit this.” And at that time, I had just seen a commercial for your program, and I said, “What the heck? Okay.” I’ve spent more money on stupid stuff than it costs for your program. And let me tell you, it was worth every cent of it and more. But between God, praying a lot, that got me through a lot. Every time I had an urge, I would pray. I know that you give samples of things you can do to help you through those cravings, but for me, it was praying. And every time I got the urge, I would pray, and it got me through it. And I still didn’t believe I could quit, but at the end of 10 days, I put down my last cigarette, and that was it. You know I had already been praying some, now I started praying a whole lot because the urges were very strong at first. One of the keys is not to have immediate access to cigarettes because once you smoke one, you’re going to go right back. I believe that with all my heart.

Nasia: That’s great advice. So true.

Elinor: Yeah. So just get through it in whatever way you can get through it, whether it’s exercise or doing like I did, praying or whatever else it is, get a hobby. Whatever it is to get your mind off of it. Because once your mind is off of it, the urges go away. They truly do. And for the 55 years that I’ve been smoking, I’ve never ever thought that I would be a non-smoker. As a matter of fact, I have to tell you Nasia, that throughout your program you say, “Think of yourself and tell yourself that you’re a non-smoker, and picture yourself as a non-smoker.” I couldn’t. I had been smoking since I was like eight years old. So every memory and every thought that I have, every picture that I have is of me smoking in some manner. Either sneaking a cigarette or just full out smoking. My life was controlled by it. I knew it. I knew that it was controlled by it. Things like, “Okay, we can’t stay at this hotel because it’s a non-smoking hotel,” “Okay, we’re going to stay at this hotel but you need smoking, and we need a non-smoking room,” and, you know, just the urges from my family to stop for health reasons. My own ideas about my health, I knew I was lucky. If for smoking as long as I have, I do not have any lung problems, I do not have any major heart problems.

Nasia: That’s great.

Elinor: Yeah, I have some cholesterol built up but that’s a family heredity thing as well. And although smoking contributes to it, it’s not real bad right now. So, my breathing is good, I’m not on oxygen, I don’t have COPD, I’m extremely lucky.

Nasia: What was your motivation then, to say, “Okay. This time, I’m going to try. I’m going to succeed. It has to happen”?

Elinor: God wanted me to. Religion, yes.

Nasia: Okay. So it goes back to what you said before. You read this, and you connected it to smoking, and this woke up inside you, the desire to [quit].

Elinor: Right, yes. And I said to myself, “Only God could do this for me.” There was nobody, nothing. I mean, my husband, the love of my life, my children. There was nobody that could convince me to stop smoking, but God did. And so, I firmly believe it was not me; it was God, the holy spirit that helped me along and just believing and having faith, and having faith that I could. That I really could. Listening to your program, of course. That was a big thing. Going through the steps rather than cold turkey. Your program is the first program that addresses the psychological addiction because I know that the physical addiction, I have overcome in the past. It’s the psychological addiction. I was psychologically addicted to cigarettes and smoking and that whole habit and way of life. And it’s very freeing.

Nasia: Yeah.

Elinor: Just like believing in God, it’s very freeing. I feel at peace, and I don’t have to worry about, “Okay. Now, are the people that I’m with at dinner going to be angry because I get up and go outside to have a cigarette?” That doesn’t happen anymore. This is a super major step for me, and I have lots of support. Support is very important. Having those close friends that you can call any time of the day or night, and they’ll say, “No, you don’t need a cigarette,” that kind of thing. And will say, “You’re doing great, just keep it up. Talk to me for a few minutes, and the urge will go away,” kind of thing. The support, the friendship, the love.

Nasia: That’s wonderful.

Elinor: It’s important. It really is.

Nasia: Yeah, and I know that you mentioned once in the Facebook group that before you quit, you told some people close to you about your intention to quit.

Elinor: Yes.

Nasia: And I want to ask you how that helped you because there are many people who believe that it puts too much pressure on them. How did it help you that someone else knew that you’re doing this?

Elinor: They encouraged me totally and absolutely. That encouragement gave me a lift and kept me going. They would call me or text me just because and say, “How are you doing?” or, “You can do this,” “I know you can do this, you’re strong,” “You can do this, you’re stronger than you think you are,” just the encouragement was the big thing. And of course, with the encouragement came the love and the support and all of that that comes with it. I knew, and I know now that all of the people that I got involved loved me very much. I love them back, and whatever they say, whatever they do, they’re not doing it maliciously. They’re doing it because they love me and that’s how I took it and that helped me.

Nasia: Thank you so much for sharing that. It brings you peace to know that everyone has a good intention when they tell you something, when they ask you about your quit, when they tell you to hold on. What a precious thing to have, this support system.

Elinor: Yes.

Nasia: So how did you feel when you smoked that last cigarette almost a year ago?

Elinor: Very nervous. Extremely nervous, but I did exactly what you told me to do. I invited my daughter and my best friend over, and she knew what it was about. She came over, and we went out to my screen porch. I live in South Carolina. It was a beautiful day. I was out on my screen porch because I never smoked in the house while she was here.

Nasia: Okay.

Elinor: Anyway, I was fairly relaxed but very nervous about it being my last cigarette. I had more cigarettes. I had over a carton of cigarettes in my house at the time.

Nasia: Oh, wow.

Elinor: I’ll tell you about that in a second. But my last cigarette was, I savored it, and it was over much too quickly. I wanted it to last a lot longer, but it didn’t. And when I was done, I think I started to cry a little bit, and my daughter gave me a big hug. We talked for a little while longer, and she left. The cigarettes that I had left over, actually the day before I quit, I had my last cigarette. I took to my very good neighbor, she’s like family to me. And I said, “Hold on to these, and by the way, I have a key to your house, so don’t leave them out in the open either. So hide them and hold on to these. If can quit, I’m going to have a quit party.” And two weeks after I quit, and I felt like this was going to stick, I did exactly that. I made a pit fire, invited my very close friends that helped me, and we all sat there. I said a prayer, and we all sat there and burned the cigarettes in the pit fire. It was exhilarating. It was fun. It was, “Hey, I can do this,” and “Hey, this is bad stuff.” And I’m just putting it on fire.

Nasia: So it was like a celebration.

Elinor: It was a celebration. Yes, absolutely.

Nasia: Wow, that’s unique. I have never ever heard of that before. I like it.

Elinor: Yes, and coming up on my first anniversary, I know I’m going to do something. But everybody is so busy right now I’m not sure that they can make it, but if it’s not on the 11th, it will be soon around there. I’ll have everybody over, and we’ll do something else.

Nasia: Wonderful.

Elinor: We’ll start throwing cigarettes away. I saved a lot of money. I saved a lot of money.

Nasia: How much money did you save?

Elinor: In the one year? Wait a minute, I have..

Nasia: Tracking app?

Elinor: Yes, I have a tracking app.

Nasia: Awesome.

Elinor: I saved a little over $3500.

Nasia: Okay, congratulations!

Elinor: It’s a lot of money.

Nasia: Yes!

Elinor: Yeah, and they asked me what I was going to do with all that money because it winds up to be about, I think $300 a month or something like that, and I said, “Well, maybe I’ll buy a new car,” and I thought that was a good idea at the time.

Nasia: Why not? Yeah.

Elinor: But then, actually, I had a dream. The dream was that I bought a new car and I crashed it in the first day, and it was totalled. So I didn’t buy my new car, I just figured that it was an omen. Don’t buy it. So I’m just singing along here, having a good time and spending some extra money.

Nasia: Well, that’s what matters, just enjoying life.

Elinor: Yeah.

Nasia: So you mentioned that after two weeks, you knew that this was going to stick. Your quit was going to stick. How did you know?

Elinor: Because I was able to get through two weeks.

Nasia: Okay.

Elinor: And going through some not so great things in life, the down parts of life where you get nervous or stressed out or something like that. Some of the reasons why people smoke, or at least some of the reasons why I smoked.

Nasia: So you went through challenges after you quit? Things happened in your life after you quit that would have made you relapse in the past?

Elinor: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, yes. Just recently, last week actually, my brother passed away. I was very close to him.

Nasia: I’m really sorry.

Elinor: Yeah, and it’s been a struggle for me because I am involved with his estate and taking care of his apartment and all those other kinds of things. The funeral and stuff like that are all on me, so there’s a lot of stress.

Nasia: But if you can stop smoking, you can do anything. Anything.

Elinor: That’s my mantra. I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. That’s Philippians 4:13, and I wear it on a bracelet, and yeah. And my neighbor me bought me this little tag right there. You probably can’t see what it says, but it says, “Enjoy the journey.” That’s exactly what it is, I’m enjoying the journey.

Nasia: That’s beautiful. I love that.

Elinor: Yes.

Filed Under: Ask An Ex

25 Disturbing Chemicals in Cigarettes – And Where Else They Are Found

by Nasia Davos

What’s inside your cigarettes and how do these chemicals affect you?

In this article, you’ll learn:

  • What chemicals are in your cigarettes
  • Where else you can find the same chemicals
  • If filters make cigarettes less harmful
  • The truth about “light” cigarettes
  • If tobacco with “no added chemicals” is healthy

And it’s important to know what are the chemicals in your cigarettes because most smokers have no idea what they smoke.

I didn’t know what was in my cigarettes when I smoked and I was shocked when I found out!

Also, knowing what’s in your cigarettes is going to help you see cigarettes objectively; not as a friend or a crutch– but see smoking for what it is, with clear eyes.

This article is not about health scares, it’s about facts. After all, you want to smoke it, at least know what’s inside.

chemicals-in-cigarettes

25 Chemicals in Your Cigarettes

Your cigarettes have 600 different ingredients and when you light up and the cigarette is burning, these ingredients combine to form more than 4000 chemicals!

Have you ever wondered why every product you consume has a list of ingredients EXCEPT your cigarettes?

From foods to household cleaning products, everything has ingredients and warning labels about toxic chemicals. Your cigarettes don’t.

Below is a list of the chemicals in your cigarettes.

Nicotine

You already know that cigarettes have nicotine inside.

Nicotine is a natural pesticide that protects plans from being eaten by insects.

A common question I get asked is “does nicotine cause cancer?”

And the answer is: we are not sure. Although nicotine is not considered a carcinogen at the moment, studies have found that it can promote the genesis of tumors and can create resistance in some chemotherapy agents.

You can learn more about nicotine and how it affects your body here.

But there are a lot of toxic chemicals in a cigarette besides nicotine.

1. Methanol

Methanol is the main component in rocket fuel.

2. Benzene

Benzene is in rubber cement, gasoline and manufacturers use it to make dyes. Also, benzene is linked to Leukemia.

3. Hexavalent Chromium

You can find this chemical in textile dyes, wood preservation, anti-corrosion products, and colors in paints, inks, and plastics. It is toxic, carcinogenic and when inhaled, it can cause lung cancer and cancer of the nose.

4. 2-Naphthylamine

2-Naphthylamine is a carcinogen and you can find it in dyes. Even though it has been replaced by less toxic compounds in making dyes, the tobacco companies still put it in your cigarettes.

5. Cadmium

You can find cadmium in battery acid and paint. Cadmium can contribute to cancer, cardiovascular disease, and osteoporosis.

Cigarettes have cadmium inside because the tobacco plant absorbs heavy metals like cadmium from the surrounding soils, so when you smoke it, it enters your body. Smokers have 4 to 5 more cadmium in their blood than non-smokers.

tobacco-plant

6. 4-aminobiphenyl

There are two ways you can come in contact with this chemical. One, by being around chemical dyes or two, by inhaling cigarette smoke.

Researches have shown that this chemical is responsible for bladder cancer in humans and dogs by damaging the DNA. And because of its carcinogenic effects, the commercial production of this chemical stopped in the United States in the 1950s. (But the tobacco companies still put it in your cigarettes.)

7. Vinyl Chloride

This is a gas with a sweet smell. It is highly toxic, flammable and carcinogenic.

8. Ethylene Oxide

Ethylene Oxide is the main component of fuel-air explosives. They put it in tobacco to make the tobacco leaves mature more quickly and kill fungi.

9. Arsenic

Arsenic is used in rat poison. The United States Agency for toxic substances and disease registry ranked arsenic as the most harmful substance in 2001. Arsenic is classified as a group A carcinogen. It doesn’t get worse than that.

10. Nickel

Nickel is in batteries, metal surface treatments, and pigments. It is a carcinogen and it’s linked to lung cancer. Workers exposed to nickel have shown a high risk of lung cancer and other lung infections.

More Chemicals in Your Cigarettes…

11. Polonium-210

Polonium is the radioactive element discovered by Nobel Prize winner Marie Curie, and it is known to cause cancer. It is used to power artificial satellites and in initiators of atomic bombs, in reaction with beryllium.

polonium in cigarettes

12. Beryllium

Apart from being used in initiators of atomic bombs in reaction with polonium, beryllium can also be found in coal slag. The International Agency for research on cancer lists beryllium and its compounds as category 1 carcinogens.

13. Formaldehyde

Formaldehyde is a disinfectant, it’s used to preserve dead specimens, and it is linked to lung cancer.

14. Tar

Tar is a carcinogenic chemical. When you inhale tobacco, this leaves tar in your lungs. Tar coats the cilia in your lungs and causes them to stop working. The cilia in your lungs are responsible for keeping your lungs clean and healthy. Because your cilia stop functioning properly, this causes cancer and other lung diseases.

Tar also harms the mouth, makes your teeth and gums black, and destroys your taste buds.

tar in cigarettes

15. Acetone

Acetone is the main ingredient of nail polish remover.

16. Cyanide

Cyanide is a deadly poison. Throughout history, people used this chemical to commit suicide.

Cyanide was also used to mass murder in the Holocaust in the gas chambers.

17. Acetic Acid

Acetic acid is an ingredient in hair dye.

18. Ammonia

Ammonia is a common household cleaner. We use it to clean windows and the toilet.

So why do they add ammonia in your cigarettes?

Because by adding ammonia, your lungs can absorb more nicotine, so your brain can get a higher dose of nicotine with each puff.

ammonia-in-cigarettes

19. Butane

Butane is a gas you can find in lighter fluid.

20. Carbon Monoxide

Carbon Monoxide is a chemical released in car exhaust fumes and it is a poisonous gas.

21. Led

Led is used in batteries and it is poisonous in high doses.

chemicals in cigarettes

22. Naphthalene

Naphthalene is an ingredient found in mothballs. It is used to create black smoke in simulated explosions, and it’s linked to cancer.

23. Methyl Isocyanate

This is a gas and its accidental release killed thousands of people in 1984 in the Bhopal gas tragedy in India.

24. Toluene

Toluene is used to manufacture paint.

25. DDT

DDT is a banned insecticide because it’s linked to liver cancer.

And what I just mentioned are only some of the thousands of chemicals that are in your cigarettes. Unfortunately, the list goes on and on.

Do Filters Make Cigarettes Healthier?

When cigarettes first came out, they were unfiltered because this allowed all the “flavors to come through”.

But when people started finding out that cigarettes cause cancer, they were worried, so Big Tobacco started putting filters to remove some of the tar.

However, this made cigarettes too bitter. So what did they do? They added even more chemicals to remove the bitterness.

The truth is that filters don’t make cigarettes any healthier, and they don’t remove nearly enough tar and chemicals. This is a marketing ploy to keep you smoking.

Are Light Cigarettes Healthier?

Lighter cigarettes used to be the cigarettes with less tar or less nicotine.

But this new name was misleading smokers into thinking that these cigarettes are healthier. So the tobacco companies were required by law to change their name to low-yield cigarettes.

Research shows that the risk of getting sick from smoking is virtually the same whether you smoke low-yield cigarettes or normal cigarettes.

And the thing is that when you smoke a low-yield cigarette, you inhale more intensely to get the same amount of nicotine that you used to get from a regular cigarette, so it’s not a low-yield cigarette anymore.

Is Tobacco with “No Added Chemicals” Healthier?

No added chemicals doesn’t mean chemical-free. For example, “natural” tobacco would still have the cancerous heavy metal Cadmium (see above) which the tobacco plant absorbs from the soil and it’s not added in the manufacturing process.

Normal tobacco has 4000 chemicals. Inhaling 1000 chemicals instead of 4000 does not make it healthier. It’s just a ploy to get you smoking without feeling “guilty”. At the end of the day, “natural” tobacco can even be worse because you still inhale fumes into your lungs, and you’re under the false impression it’s healthy so you don’t feel the urge to quit.

Why Your Pack Doesn’t List The Chemicals In Your Cigarettes?

I encourage you to think about why these ingredients are not on your pack. The warning labels that are already on your pack and show you what cigarettes do to your health, they don’t work.

Because we always rationalize “this is not going to happen to me”. This is a defense mechanism that allows us to keep on smoking.

Every smoker experiences cognitive dissonance: a conflict in your mind between wanting to smoke -because you’re addicted – and knowing it’s harming you.

And because your brain can’t live in conflict, it rationalizes that cigarettes can’t be THAT bad and that you’ll be fine. That’s why the warning labels on your pack don’t work.

stressed-about-cigarettes

On the other hand, seeing the ingredients that are in your cigarettes, takes away the illusion that there’s something magical in your cigarettes that helps you cope with life, socialize, and relieve stress. There’s nothing to it.

Every time you have a craving, think that chemists are having a meeting with the big tobacco executives and they try to figure out what chemicals to add in your cigarettes to keep you addicted. I don’t know if this sounds far-fetched to you but, truth be told, 600 ingredients didn’t end up in your cigarettes by accident.

What to Do

There are a lot of chemicals in your cigarettes, yes. But the good news is that your body starts recovering immediately after you stop putting these chemicals in it.

Our body is a genius machine. 20 minutes after smoking your last cigarette, your blood pressure has returned to normal. In 48 hours, your senses of taste and smell have started to improve. In 2 weeks, your heart attack risk has started to drop and in just 90 days, your lungs are healthier!

Every cigarette you don’t smoke matters and it’s never too late to stop – as long as you do.

So if you want to know how to quit smoking naturally in a way that works even if you have failed before, make sure you get the foundational video if the CBQ Method. It’s going to help you get started.

The CBQ method is a psychology-based method- it involves no drugs or medications. It has 4 quit smoking stages that are designed to remove the desire for cigarettes and change how you think about smoking and break the habit.

These 4 stages help you reprogram your brain so you can stop seeing cigarettes as a friend or as a crutch. Over the last decade, the CBQ Method has reached and helped millions of people quit smoking for good.

Get the Foundational video of the CBQ Method here

Filed Under: Uncategorized

How to Say No To Smoking Without Using Willpower – No Matter the Situation

by Nasia Davos

How can you say no to smoking without using any willpower?

Below I show you 3 little known ways to say no to smoking when someone offers you a cigarette or even when you’re alone and you think about having “just one.”

And NONE of them includes: hiding your cigarettes, avoiding smokers, or covering yourself with nicotine patches from head to toe.

Instead, they ALL show you how to use the power of your mind. 

Power you already possess but perhaps don’t know how to use to overcome this addiction. 

In other words, you’ll use mindpower instead of willpower!

The 3 strategies below will help you:

  • Prepare for and handle tempting situations
  • Feel more confident and in control
  • Find it easier to beat this addiction

Tip # 1: Visualize Yourself Saying “No” to Smoking.

This is going to help you prepare for high-risk situations before ever facing them so that when you do, you will remain smoke-free.

But what is visualization?

Visualization is when you see something in your mind’s eye. It’s a mental representation of yourself, other people, an object, an idea, or a goal. It’s like imagination or daydreaming but you’re focused on a goal. And your goal is to see yourself saying no to smoking.

For example, if feeling anxious and stressed is a very strong trigger for you, imagine yourself being in stressful situations, and instead of lighting up, you relax without smoking a cigarette.

Why does it help to imagine yourself overcoming temping situations?

Because your mind can’t really tell the difference between reality and imagination.

For example, when athletes visualize themselves training and when they actually train, what happens is that the same areas in their brain light up! The brain doesn’t know the difference, Because when you visualize something, your mind thinks you’re experiencing it.

That’s why when you visualize yourself facing and overcoming triggers, your mind thinks it’s actually happening. So when it does happen, you feel like you’ve been in the same situation before and conquered it. This gives you incredible confidence to say “no” to smoking.

What if you can’t visualize?

Let’s do something together now.

Think now of your front door.

What color is it?

Where is the handle? On the left or on the right?

What’s the material of the door?

Is it a big door?

Does it have a mat or not?

Now see your hands opening the door slowly…

If you did this with me now, you created a mental representation of your door, so you visualized!

So starting today, visualize yourself saying “no” to smoking in every situation you can possibly imagine.

After an argument, when you’re with friends, where stressed, at work, when feeling overwhelmed or even feeling happy and celebrating something.

For example, imagine:

Being offered a cigarette by a friend and saying no. And notice exactly how you say it and what your friend says back.

Driving to the store, going to the counter feeling tempted to buy a pack, and not buying it. And you buy something else instead, what do you buy?

Seeing your partner’s or your friends’ cigarettes lying around and you are not taking one. What do you do instead?

Being at work and you see your colleagues smoking, how do you say no without feeling you’re missing out?

And include in your visualization, what you tell yourself for being able to say no to smoking and how saying “no” makes you feel.

I promise you, if your practice this, it’s can change everything for you. Because when you actually find yourself in these situations, it’s going to be easy to say no without using your willpower because you’re going to have experience.

Tip #2: Think of What Will Happen after You Smoke.

What do I mean?

What makes a cigarette seem tempting is thinking only about the next moment. The moment where you picture yourself just lighting up, the instant gratification.

A while back, we did an experiment.  We interviewed a group of ex-smokers who were happy about their quit and a group of ex-smokers who struggled.

So, one by one they came into the room, sat on a big wooden table and I put a cigarette in front of each of them and asked them, “do you want that cigarette?”

Those who were happy non-smokers said they didn’t want it and they didn’t have to use their willpower to say no.

But those who were struggling said, yes, they wanted the cigarette and they had to use their willpower to say no.

And then I asked, “what do you think when you look at that cigarette? What comes to your mind?”

Those who didn’t have to use their willpower, they thought how terrible they would feel after they smoke and they break their quit. They thought how guilty and regretful they’d feel afterward and how one cigarette can turn into many.

One is too many and a thousand is never enough

But those who wanted to smoke and had to use their willpower to resist it, they thought how they would feel right after taking the first puff.  And they rationalized that they could have just one cigarette.

As you can see, this is a very different way of thinking.

Those who use their willpower, they only think about the next moment and they rationalize why they can smoke. But those who don’t want to smoke and they don’t have to use their willpower,  they think what will happen after smoking. And they’re more realistic about it.

So I want you to use that lesson, and do what the people who don’t use willpower do:

To remove the temptation, don’t just think of yourself smoking, instead, create a bigger, a longer movie in your mind: think how you will feel 10 minutes after smoking, how 1 cigarette will make you crave it the next day, and how that could lead to you struggling to quit for years.

Think of the conflict and regret that comes after smoking a cigarette and how one cigarette can easily turn into a thousand.

Because the temptation goes when you think it through. The temptation goes when instead of thinking what you want right now, you think what you want for the rest of your life.

Tip # 3: Use Your Self-Talk

Your self-talk is probably the most powerful tool you have in your possession.

When you are addicted to something whether that’s nicotine, food, or alcohol – you have 2 minds:

  • your mind
  • and the craving mind.

Think of the craving mind as Gollum, that creature from Lord of the Rings. All it wants is its precious fix.

And the craving mind communicates to you in the form of a thought.

Because cravings are thoughts.

Cravings are just positive thoughts about smoking that create positive feelings about smoking.

CBQ Method Principles

Thoughts like: “I need a cigarette” or “a cigarette would make me feel better now” or “I can’t cope without it” whatever it is, they’re just thoughts.

And thoughts can’t hurt you, break you or make you do anything. But they can be very convincing if you let them.

So how can you manage those thoughts, so that they will not overpower you?

What you shouldn’t do

You shouldn’t resist those thoughts because what you resist, persists. And when you resist your craving thoughts, they become stronger.

Also, it doesn’t help to scare yourself or make yourself feel guilty. Because when we feel scared or guilty, we tend to go back to the illusion of comfort that smoking gives us.

What to do

Acknowledge the craving thought.

When your craving mind tells you “you need a cigarette right now” reply back to it and say, “thank you for sharing but you’re wrong, I don’t need a cigarette.” Or you can say “I heard you, sssh now.”

Just have a small conversation. And then let the thought go. Because if you have that small conversation and acknowledge that the thought is there, it is going to be easier to let it go.

Thoughts come and go all the time in your mind, so don’t hold on to the craving thought, just say to yourself, “next thought, please” and your brain will listen, your brain will provide you with a new thought.

You have a stream of thoughts at any moment, so why focus on the one thought that makes you feel bad? Just because your craving mind proposes a thought and seeks your attention, it doesn’t mean you have to listen and entertain that thought.

And the great thing is that the craving thoughts will eventually fade away.

What happens when your friends, your partner, or colleagues tell you to smoke?

When that happens, you have two people to reply to: 1) that friend, and 2) the craving mind. And many times, when a friend tells you to smoke, you can become defensive or feel pushed, or even worse, give yourself permission to smoke.

So just remember that those who smoke, would like to be non-smokers and tell yourself and others “I don’t smoke anymore” or “I am not smoking today”. And if someone insists, just be a broken record. Say “I don’t smoke anymore”, a thousand times, as many times as you need to.

So, to sum up:

Visualize yourself saying no to smoking in different situations.

Think what will happen long after you smoke that one cigarette.

And use your self-talk and reply back to the craving mind.

All the strategies I shared come from the CBQ Method so I hope you apply them to say no to smoking without using willpower whether you’re alone or with other people.

If you want advice and support to quit smoking and remain smoke-free, make sure you join our Facebook support group for more tips and advice about the CBQ method.

Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cbqmethod/

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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