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Claire was one of our CBQ Program members who quit smoking after 34 years with the CBQ Method.

And some parts of Claire’s story might be similar to your story. So read through, and try to see if you can get some ideas that can help YOU stop smoking.

Back to Claire.

•Claire had a full-time job and a family, making her life extremely busy and stressful.

•She thought she could never feel relaxed without her smokes and that no method can work for her.

•Claire believed that it was too late for her and that she could never quit smoking 2 packs a day.

•She had never tried an online quit-smoking program before like the CBQ Program, and wasn’t sure how videos and exercises can help her quit smoking.

Yet after completing the CBQ Program, she was able to quit smoking with the CBQ method. And find a way to relax when she was stressed. AND help other women in her community do the same.

Here’s how she did it.

How Claire Took the Decision to Quit

Claire is 57 years old and works as a secretary in a newspaper. She is married with 1 daughter, 2 grandchildren and has a cat (Mr. Fluffers).

Claire is an independent, strong and social woman. Everyone loves her; friends, neighbors, coworkers.

However, most people wouldn’t guess she was overly stressed and unhappy.

“Every day I was smoking nearly 2 packs. I was smoking at my breaks at work and at home with my husband. I was out of breath all the time.

I wanted to be healthier but I felt I needed smoking to relax. You know, after so many years I was smoking out of habit more than anything else. I just couldn’t make myself quit.”

Until one Thursday her grandchildren were over at her house and she was so out of breath… that she was coughing more than she was talking.

“I love my grandbabies more than anything. I love cooking for them, playing with them, taking them to school.

And that day got me thinking, what if I don’t live long enough to see them grow up?

Many people die unexpectedly for millions of reasons. Why would I get away with it?”

So Claire decided to quit.

“I first tried to quit cold turkey and then with the gum… I spent a lot of money on these nicotine things and other stop smoking aids.

But still, I was struggling. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. When I was stressed, nothing could calm me down.

And it was impossible to forget about smoking when my husband was smoking next to me all the time. I felt hopeless.”

The result?

Back to cigarettes.
“But I was feeling terrible. Guilty for not quitting and letting down my family and guilty that I enjoyed my smokes.”

One day Claire’s daughter read a couple of CBQ method reviews and sent her the link to the CBQ Method website.

“My daughter’s colleague had quit smoking with Nasia Davos and she was doing pretty well with stress and maintaining her weight. I signed up for the free stuff and got into the newsletter. I liked the CBQ method and all the critiques I read about it.”

“The information in Nasia’s emails changed my perspective on smoking. It was a big change from a lot of what I was getting from other websites with generic advice.

I decided to buy the CBQ Program because it was following the CBQ method. And because of how specific Nasia got, and she was realistic about how committed you have to be on doing the CBQ exercises during the CBQ Program.

Once I had my password for the member’s area, I immediately started watching. I felt like a student doing my exercises and all.”

When Claire started the CBQ Program she was a little nervous. She was afraid that she would quit, but it wouldn’t last.

So…. she reached the second day of the CBQ Program and paused the course for two whole weeks.

But then she gave it one more shot.

How Claire Quit Smoking Without Stress

Claire already knew that she needed to do something with her hands so that she wouldn’t smoke.

But she needed a proven system to replace smoking with another activity. An activity, that made her feel relaxed and fulfilled without her crutch.

“With the CBQ Program, you want to dive right in, but the first couple days give you a base.
Step one, was understanding why I am smoking when I’m stressed or when I feel my hands empty. Step two, was not smoking.”

After a few days, Claire realized that there are other comforting things she can do when she had a craving.

“ I understood why I felt so happy when I was smoking and discovered new things that gave me real enjoyment. I’ve always liked gardening and flowers.

So I used Nasia’s “Replace your smoking pattern” technique from the CBQ method. This helped me replace smoking with another habit: floristry!

My withdrawal was much easier than I expected. When I had a craving or I was stressed or needed some time alone, I was in my garden getting busy so that I wouldn’t smoke or eat. My husband didn’t recognize me.”

“With the CBQ Program you quit smoking in 10 days, but I needed to take 2 more days to let everything sink in. So I finished the program in 12 days and now almost 14 months later I feel happier and younger than ever.”

And now that Claire has a list of things to do when she feels anxious or down— just like she learned during the CBQ Program- she can choose one when she feels stressed.

How Claire Remained a Non-Smoker

“My gardening thing took off and now I host a floristry club in my house! A dozen women from my neighborhood come together once a week, we make amazing bouquets and then sell them. My club has mainly women who are ex-smokers so this club is a support group that is also fun and productive.”

With an effective and efficient system in place, Claire isn’t worried about going back to smoking anymore.

Think about the differences between having a healthy habit – whatever that is- and smoking.

It’s an entirely different lifestyle.

“Smoking is just not as much of a concern anymore. I feel healthier, I smell fresh and I have more energy to play with my grandbabies.  My husband couldn’t believe how I felt so happy without my smokes. So he quit too with the CBQ Program.”

What is your review of the CBQ method?

“My review.. I guess it’s simple. Without the CBQ method, I’d be probably trying to quit all by myself. Your blog and emails about the CBQ method are really helpful. They make you understand what’s happening to you and that quitting is easier than you think.

But the CBQ Program really made me accountable. Made me follow through. I felt certain that I had many ways to tackle my habit”

What would you tell others who want to quit smoking?

“It’s never too late. Feeling free from thinking about your next fix and free from the guilt of letting down your family, is something I wouldn’t change for the world.

I breathe so much better and have saved so much money.
My life has changed. If I can do it, anyone can.”

What would you tell others considering joining the CBQ Program?  “Take the lessons seriously. Follow them to a T. Don’t just watch it and follow it half-way. You just have to do it. Even if it takes you more than 10 days.

 

If you’ve landed here, on this website, on this article, reading this line… then I believe there’s a part of you that wants to know how to quit smoking and then there’s another part of you that thinks stopping smoking is really hard.

If that’s you, you are not alone.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 7 out of every 10 smokers, want to quit for good.

It’s true.

Most smokers want a healthier, longer, happier, richer and calmer life. A life, where they don’t even miss cigarettes.

So, what happens?

It turns out that from all these people, only 6% actually kick the habit.

Now from the remaining 94% of people, I’m betting there’s someone just like you….

…Someone who believed that resisting one cigarette after the other with all their strength would eventually make their cravings go away.

…Someone who believed that taking nicotine substitutes would kill their desire to have a smoke when they are stressed.

…Someone who put the work in and things just didn’t pan out.

The question is “WHY!?!”

And most importantly, how can you BEAT THE ODDS?

The Psychology Behind Why You Can’t Quit

Most people fall off the beaten path because they waste their energy, hopes, and money on methods that simply don’t give them what they want:

• fewer painful cravings
• less stress
• and 0 feelings of deprivation

When you feel irritated, stressed and deprived without a cigarette, you will naturally feel that you are losing something by quitting smoking.

And that feeling of “something missing” will demotivate the MOST DETERMINED person.

So that’s why most smokers haven’t quit, yet.

It’s frustrating, yes.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

So I have a question for you:

Have you ever felt that quitting smoking is a HARD and even an IMPOSSIBLE thing to do?

Are you worried that you will go through pain to quit only to go back to smoking when you’re stressed or to stop putting on weight?

Are you afraid that you will stop smoking but you will spend your life always missing the occasional cigarette?

Or worse, maybe these things have already happened to you… and you’ve just had enough?

If you said “Heck, YES!” you’re in luck.

Because in this post I’m going reveal the top 3 mistakes that cause even the most determined people to get back to smoking at the drop of a hat.

The good news is that when you avoid these mistakes, YOU CAN BEAT YOUR ADDICTION.

Ready?

Let’s jump in.

Mistake #1: You Think You Need More Willpower

When I was a smoker, I was struggling to quit. I was trying so hard to resist a cigarette but I couldn’t.

I just couldn’t help myself!

There was always something happening that made my willpower evaporate: an argument, a drink with friends, stress, telling myself “one cigarette won’t hurt”…

In these and many more occasions I used to run to the store to buy cigarettes, borrow one from a friend or dig up the pack I’d saved in the depths of my closet.

For a long time, I thought I was weak since I didn’t have enough willpower to stop smoking.

And you might be thinking that too …

This ends here.

You don’t need any willpower to stop smoking. In fact, you SHOULDN’T use any willpower if you want to quit easily.

And I will explain why.

Why We Don’t Need our Willpower to Quit Smoking

When you light up you do it because you genuinely believe that smoking offers you some benefits: it helps you relax, socialize, cope with boredom, keep your hands busy or even control your weight.

Right?

These benefits are the reasons why we think we enjoy, desire and even need a cigarette.

For example, we really want a cigarette when we are on the phone because we believe it will help us relax, concentrate and enjoy our phone call.

Every time we want a smoke is because we believe it will offer us a benefit.

So why can’t we resist that cigarette with willpower?

• Because using our willpower does not remove the benefits we get from smoking.
• Because willpower does not magically remove our desire to smoke.
• And because it’s hard to control our desires with willpower.

Our emotions don’t work that way. Our emotions and feelings are UNLIMITED. And our willpower is limited. 

Behavioral science researchers have proven that our willpower is like a muscle that gets tired during our day.  The more we use it, the weaker it becomes.

So our willpower cannot overpower our desire to smoke.

Emotions > Willpower.

Let’s say you just came back from a stressful day at work. All you want to do is sit on your front porch or your couch and light up a cigarette to relax.

Now if at that point, you force yourself to resist that comforting cigarette… what happens?!

You will want it even more! (we all want what we can’t have, right?).

Like I explain in my TED talk, putting effort into NOT smoking creates more stress. Because it makes you think about smoking more intensely.

How to Quit Smoking and Overcome Your Cravings without Using Willpower

Well, The key here is to stop thinking about smoking.

Easier said than done, I know …

But you can do it. How? When you want to smoke, do something else instead.

But that something – and that’s the important part-  has to keep your mind and hands busy until the craving is over.

Remember this: every craving that comes will go.

Knowing that the craving will fade away in no more than 3 minutes gives you some kind of power over it.

Right?

Ok so here are the 5 best things that can keep you busy during your next craving.

And here’s what some members of the CBQ have to say about this:

Moving on…

Mistake #2: You Only Deal With Your Physical Dependence on Nicotine.

Most of us have tried to quit smoking multiple times. When I ask someone if they’ve tried to quit before and how, they usually tell me:

“Okay, so I tried the gum, but it tastes terrible. And I want my smokes even if I chew.” or

“Umm… Yes I tried the patch, but sometimes I smoke while wearing it.” or

“I was vaping for a few months, but it doesn’t make me wanna quit. So I started smoking again, I prefer the real thing.”

or “I took the pills, but I was feeling too depressed. I’d rather smoke than be miserable.”

And you might have a very similar answer too…

You might be blaming yourself for failing to quit with the above methods.

The thing is, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!

These nicotine gums, patches and vaping are nothing but alternative delivery systems for nicotine; the very substance that makes cigarettes so addictive.

So by using these products you only satisfy your physical need to smoke a cigarette.

But … if smoking was just a physical addiction, they why do so we still crave a smoke when we’re stressed- even while using these nicotine substitutes?

The truth is simple: these methods only tackle your physical dependence on nicotine. Not your mental dependence.

But smoking is mostly a mental addiction.

Why Smoking Is a Mental Addiction

The mental dependence on smoking is made up of 2 things:

1. The emotional benefits you get from smoking.
2. The movement you do with your hands.

Think about it.

Most of the times, you probably smoke because:

• You feel anxious
• You need a mental break
• You want to keep your hands busy when you feel bored.

You probably smoke out of habit while watching TV, while driving, while drinking your coffee, while scrolling through Facebook or after a  meal.

If you don’t, you feel that something is missing.

As you can see, the reasons why you smoke are all are mental, psychological, emotional. Not physical.

This is exactly why patches, smoking pills and vaping, rarely work. Because they only deal with the physical aspect of the habit. Not the mental/emotional/psychological one.

They’re simply giving you the momentary illusion, that you are satisfied without your cigarettes, but it won’t last long before you go back to your smokes.

Check what some of our members have to say about this:

The Solution?

According to the British Psychological Society, quitting smoking is effective only when you tackle both the physical and the mental dependence on the habit.

That’s why the CBQ quit smoking method, the cutting-edge method we use, removes your mental dependence on smoking before you actually quit.

If you want to learn how the CBQ method can help you overcome your mental dependence on smoking, click here to download the foundational video & PDF starter guide of the CBQ Method. It will show you how to quit smoking without missing cigarettes ever again.

Ok, let’s go to the NEXT big mistake.

Mistake #3: You Haven’t Made a REAL Decision to Quit.

Making a real decision to quit means making a commitment to yourself to stop smoking – no matter what challenges or difficulties you face along the way.

But we rarely commit to stopping smoking when we start a quit attempt.

We rarely say: “I don’t care what happens, there is no way I’m smoking another cigarette.”

Instead, we say: “I will try and see how it goes.”

“I wish I will make it.”

“I hope it works out.”

And we say these things because we don’t want to put much pressure on ourselves. Because if we commit fully and then fail… we will feel bad. 

But if we don’t commit fully from the beginning, then we are in a better position: we can tell ourselves that our attempt wasn’t too serious anyway. 

Listen…

If you don’t make a firm decision to quit, your mind will always make up excuses, to smoke another cigarette– maybe during your break at work or while watching your favorite TV show.

Your mind will tell you that it’s ok to have the very last cigarette, after the last cigarette, you promised yourself to smoke.

It will tell you, that you NEED to smoke. Otherwise, you will be unpleasant, to those around you.

All these, are very common thoughts, among smokers who want to quit. They are torturing. They fill you up with doubts. And they sabotage your quit attempt.

But these thoughts stop when you decide to quit.

So now the question is…

“How can YOU make an iron-clad decision to quit smoking?”

The SECRET behind making a real decision is as simple as being VERY specific with the reason you want to quit.

When you think about the exact ways quitting will change your life – physically, emotionally, financially – then your motivation increases and your decision to quit becomes stronger.

It might seem a bit silly, but look at it like this: What is more motivating and memorable?

Saying: “I have to quit because it costs me a fortune”?

OR saying: “I have to quit because I can use the money to treat my family to a vacation in Fiji. And enjoy this vacation without having the anxiety of running out of cigarettes.”

????

The second one is much more motivating, right?

(I mean who wouldn’t like a family vacation to Fiji ⛱ ⛱⛱   with the extra money saved from quitting smoking.)

How to Strengthen Your Decision to Quit Smoking EVEN MORE

You will strengthen your decision to stop smoking and increase your motivation to stick with that decision if you make a list of 10 (not 8 or 9) reasons why you want to quit smoking. 

I call this list, the “Golden List.”

You might think, “well, isn’t that obvious?”

And the answer is, “Yes,” but if you don’t make a list, your reasons for quitting won’t stay on top of your mind when you have a craving.

Imagine you’ve just woken up in the morning. You are drinking your coffee and you crave a smoke. But you refrain from having it because you have decided to stop smoking.

A few moments later your spouse comes with their coffee, sits next to you and starts smoking.

As soon as this happens, your craving increases. You even feel you’re missing out. The more you smell the cigarette, the more you entertain the thought of asking for a puff.

At that moment, your decision and motivation to quit start getting weaker and weaker.

All you think about is having a smoke with your coffee.

And it is at that particular moment when you need to have your Golden List quit next to you.

Think about it.

What’s the easiest way to avoid smoking?

If you try to resist the cigarette?

Or if you take your list with all the reasons why you want to quit and start reading it?

You know the answer!

Reading your list will remind you why you’re better off not smoking the cigarette you’re craving.

So write your golden list. And then put it somewhere you can see at all times. (Your bedroom wall, your work desk, or just stick it on your fridge.)

And if you’re worried that this won’t work, just take a look at what some of our members said:

How to Quit Smoking Starting Today

Now that I walked you through the big 3 mistakes that prevent you from quitting successfully, you’ve got ONE goal:

To start your quitting journey… RIGHT

So how do you get started?

There are 4 stages you need to follow if you want to quit easily and for good.

These 4 stages show you not only how to prepare for your next quit but also how to smoke your last cigarette feeling excited.

If you want to learn how the CBQ Method can help you quit smoking easily, you can start by getting the foundational video and PDF starter guide of the CBQ Method.

The foundational video will give you an overview of your quit smoking journey from start to finish and the guide will help you map out your quit, take notes, and remember important tips.

Get the Foundational video of the CBQ Method here.

Imagine being able to avoid smoking for 24 hours. You told your family you’re quitting, slept early to experience fewer cravings, and googled how to keep busy without cigarettes. You’re feeling good, and everything is going according to plan… UNTIL something stressful happens.

The moment you get anxious, you start thinking about having “just one”. Soon enough, smoking is all you think about, and even though you try to stay away from cigarettes, you feel unable to cope and end up relapsing and feeling defeated.

So, how do you quit smoking if anxiety is your kryptonite? Truth be told, you can’t wait for the right time when your life will be totally stress-free. That moment will probably never come. The only viable solution is to learn how to handle stress BEFORE smoking your last cigarette. That’s what Mary did.

Mary is a 48-year-old wife, mother, and accountant who had been smoking a pack a day for 31 years. She had a colorful, caring, and fun personality that was often dimmed by her anxiety. Even though her family was her everything, the toll of her busy life increased her stress, which decreased the quality of her life and affected her relationships.

Mary believed smoking was the only thing that helped her manage her stress (at least the only thing she knew). At the same time, she hated being a smoker. The smell, cost, guilt, and inconvenience made her think about quitting almost every day. Yet, it was only after her doctor warned her that her lungs weren’t functioning properly… that she really felt the pressure.

“I felt it was urgent to quit for my children no matter how much I needed it to relax,” she said, “I wanted just to quit and never think about it again.”

Mary tried to quit, many times, with nicotine patches, gums, and vaping, but she couldn’t stay away from cigarettes for more than a couple of days. No matter how much nicotine or willpower she used, she always ended up relapsing. As she later realized, the reason for all these slips was that she was abstaining from cigarettes. Not quitting them.

And there’s a BIG difference between “quitting” and “abstaining.”

Abstaining from smoking means continuously using your willpower to resist smoking. Quitting smoking means not wanting to smoke any more.

Abstaining from smoking means PAUSING your habit.

Quitting smoking means ENDING it.

When you pause your addiction, you are doomed to resume it. When you end it, you’re free.

Here’s how Mary recognized the #1 thing holding her back from really quitting smoking and how she turned things around.

Why Mary Couldn’t Quit Successfully 

Mary was doing a lot of things right. She didn’t allow anyone to smoke inside her house and she even threw her ashtrays away. But none of those actions kept her from lighting up when she was stressed.

“When I was sorting out our bills, or when I had an argument with my husband or my boss… I wanted a smoke more than anything in the world. I needed it, so I smoked.

The problem is that I was blaming everyone else for not feeling ready to quit. Until I realized that I was obviously doing something wrong. I just didn’t know how to relax without smoking.”

That was Mary’s biggest “aha” moment: Realizing there could be new, better, and more effective ways she could relax that didn’t involve smoking. As soon as trusted in that possibility, she started looking for coping strategies and things to do when she was stressed.

“I spent a lot of time and money on nicotine gums, patches, and vaping- you know, the kind of stuff you can do instead of smoking, but, it wasn’t working, I still felt stressed, still wanted my smokes… and I still felt anxious when I didn’t have a cigarette near me.”

Then “fate” stepped in…

“CBQ Method was a Facebook suggestion based on some other pages I’ve liked”, said Mary, “I followed that to the website where I read all the free stuff and attended the free introductory webinar that leads up to the CBQ Program. After reading many reviews about Nasia Davos and quitting smoking with the CBQ Method, I decided to give it a try.”

My hesitation was you didn’t really know what the flow of an online course would be, and the other side was convincing my husband it was worth that much money!”

“But I convinced him,” Mary laughed, “he could tell that I was really serious about it. I kept telling him that the CBQ method is really good. I needed to find ways to relax from stress while quitting and learn how to cope with my problems without cigarettes in general. And the CBQ method did exactly that.”

“I hope you won’t get mad, but I shared with my husband that video where you give this technique that makes you stop thinking about smoking, and it changed his mind completely. It showed him there was a lot of meat. This wasn’t ‘throw your cigarettes and wake up the next day waiting for a miracle’, it was more like ‘watch the videos, do the exercises, and you will learn how to be a non-smoker.”

Mary said it perfectly! (And no, of course, I wouldn’t get mad! My videos are made to be shared!)

How Mary Smashed Her Anxiety while Quitting Smoking with the CBQ Method

What made the biggest difference for Mary were the lessons from Day #8 of the CBQ Program.

“Whenever I had a craving, I’d think about it in terms of ‘what should I say to myself, what should I do to relax without smoking?’ I kind of knew I have to do something when I have a craving, but before using the CBQ method, I didn’t really know how important it was and how to do it. So I wasn’t doing it. Instead, I was eating. ”

Why does relaxing from stress matter so much?

“Well, when you feel stressed, all you want is to take a puff. And if you don’t see through your anxiety, then you will smoke, or eat and then smoke anyway.

Now I know how to calm down when I have a problem or when my boss is unreasonable and unfair. I can actually prepare and be ready for stress. That was really a turning point for me in my life. “

Mary really committed to learning and experimenting with how to manage her stress while quitting smoking. A big part of that was practicing with her husband and children.

“They’d push my buttons and wait for my reaction. The first time they challenged me I wasn’t that good, but the second time I was way better.”

“I’ve thought a lot about it over the last few weeks,” said Mary, “I haven’t changed as a mother, a wife or a person. I am still alert, caring, fun, loving and sarcastic. What I’ve changed is my ability to shine through the clutter of my stress. Since I quit I’ve been much more relaxed, and I don’t get agitated that easily.”

Mary quit smoking, and when it came to reflecting on how her investment paid off, she realized how far she’d come.

“In terms of money, I saved over $2000 in the last year. As an ex-smoker, I was able to get a better deal on life insurance, and my medical bills have decreased. Funny thing, I also got a raise!”

Also, Mary’s family is enjoying her more than ever.

“I am really proud of myself, and my family is really proud of me too. The odd breathing problems I had in my late 40s, disappeared, and I didn’t put on a single pound because I didn’t miss smoking. Now I can play with my children without coughing, and I can focus better on my work and finish faster because I don’t have to take cigarette breaks!

The most important thing for me was showing my family how much I care for them, and the worry of getting cancer or COPD and becoming a burden to them… is gone.

Ah! And I realized that most of the times I was fighting with my husband, were when I needed to smoke. Now that’s behind me. I am so much better off…”, “I feel free.”

What the Future Has In Store for Mary

Mary isn’t done yet – she’s looking toward the future and has continued using the CBQ strategies to keep her stress levels as low as possible and maintain her smoke-free life.

“Next year I plan to get another raise so I can take my whole family on vacation and support my mother financially.”

“This might be my first year as a smoke-free woman, but I know that whenever I feel anxious, I can check the CBQ exercises.”

Mary realized that the problem with failing to quit smoking was not having the right plan. Once she prepared, experimented, and put in the work, she was able to overcome even the most intense cravings.

The result? A healthier lifestyle, a calmer mind, and a better relationship with her loved ones.

Key Takeaways – Tips

• Nicotine gums, patches and vaping won’t help you quit or protect you from relapse when you feel stressed. Only your mind and your preparation can help you.
• When you have a craving try to do something to keep your hands and mind busy.
• Make a list of all the things that stress you out. Then role-play these situations with your family and friends (or even alone) before your quit date. This will help you be more prepared.
• Breaking free from nicotine WILL improve your health, finances, and relationships. Most importantly, quitting smoking will improve your mental health and decrease your anxiety and depression – this has also been proven by research.

*We always share success stories with permission or use pseudonyms to protect our members’ privacy.

You probably already know that the nicotine addiction is a harmful, expensive, hard-to-break habit.

You may even know what the signs of nicotine addiction are. And how smoking affects your body, health, and energy.

Yet despite your best efforts, you still can’t quit.

Why?

To know why you can’t stop smoking, you first need to know why you’re smoking.

So, “Why do you smoke?”

Knowing the real reason why you smoke, makes it a whole lot easier to tackle this reason and eventually quit.

What (most) People Believe about Nicotine Addiction

Most people believe that smoking is ONLY a physical addiction to nicotine.

Nicotine comes from the tobacco plant and it’s a pesticide. Even though nicotine is an addictive substance, nicotine addiction is not a strong physical addiction, because nicotine has a short half-life and it’s easily metabolized from the body. Nicotine starts leaving your body 30 to 45 minutes after you smoke a cigarette. That’s why you need to smoke regularly throughout the day.

So nicotine may be the reason you first got hooked to this habit, as a teenager maybe, but it’s not the reason why you kept on smoking for all those years.

When you first started smoking, you probably thought you would have quit by now. So why haven’t you?

Well, if nicotine addiction was the real reason…

Then why do ex-smokers relapse back to smoking even after the nicotine withdrawal is over and there is no nicotine inside their body?

3 to 5 days after smoking your last cigarette, your body expels most of the addictive substance (provided that you don’t use nicotine substitutes).

So what can cause someone to have a smoke 1 month or even 1 year after overcoming their nicotine addiction?

And why do most people give mental and emotional reasons for smoking…like I enjoy it, I need it, it relaxes me, it’s my friend or its habit?

When I ask our members: “Why do you smoke?”

…The answers I get, are a spin on this:
“I enjoy it.”
“I need it to relax.”
“I’m afraid of gaining weight.”
“I don’t know what to do when I’m bored.”
“I’m used to it; it’s a habit. Something to do with my hands.”

(You might have answered something similar when I asked you “Why do you smoke?” just a few lines ago.)

All these reasons are mental. Psychological. Emotional.
Not physical.

The Real Reason Why People Smoke

You see, smoking is not only a physical addiction but also a mental one.

Nicotine affects our body but above all, our mind.

To be precise, 80% of the smoking addiction, is made up of the mental dependence on smoking.

Simply put, the mental addiction is your desire for cigarettes.

It’s how much you believe you enjoy and need smoking, how ingrained it is in your life, and the benefits you think you get from it.

Benefits like relaxing from stress or anxiety, taking a mental break, managing your weight, or keeping your hand busy when you are bored, while driving, talking on the phone, or watching your favorite TV show.

And only 20% of smoking, is the physical addiction to nicotine– the substance that first hooked you to this habit.

Think about it. It’s not your body that craves a smoke every time you want to take a break.

It’s your mind that wants it. And your hands that feel empty.

Because your mind has linked certain triggers to smoking and it reminds you to smoke when you have those triggers.

And if you believe you’re too addicted to nicotine… then how do you sleep?

You may sleep 6, 7, or 8 hours without smoking. Your physical cravings for nicotine don’t wake you up.

If nicotine was the real problem, then your physical cravings would wake you up every one hour just to smoke.

But they don’t. Because they make up for only 20% of the tobacco addiction.

On the other hand, what happens if you go 8 straight hours during the day when you’re awake?

Well, that’s a different story, right?

All hell breaks loose. You have cravings, you feel agitated, you think about smoking all the time.

Why does this happen?

Because your mind is awake. And your mind reminds you to smoke when you get upset, stressed, or anxious. Or when you see other people smoking.

As you can see, the REAL reason you’re still smoking is your mental dependence on smoking: how smoking makes you feel and how much you believe you need it. 

Why do you feel you need nicotine in the first place?

Because nicotine has hijacked the dopamine pathways in your brain and it makes your brain believe it needs nicotine to survive, the same way it needs food. Of course, you don’t need nicotine to survive because nicotine is poison.

So even if a part of you hates smoking, the way it makes you smell, the cost, how it harms your health, and all the worry and the guilt that comes with it… there is another part of you that is afraid not to smoke.

Because you’re used to smoking in many moments in your day and all these situations have been linked so closely with your smoking habit, that on some level you’re afraid that if you quit your cigarettes will magically take away with them your capacity to enjoy life and cope with your problems.

So what keeps you stuck, is fear.

Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of cravings, fear of the unknown, or the fear that you will turn into someone else. All this fear is caused by the mental addiction.

Do You Smoke Because You Enjoy It?

Sometimes people tell me “I smoke because I enjoy it.”

If you think you really enjoy smoking, let me ask you this:

If you could wake up tomorrow and never smoke again, no cravings, no memory of smoking, not miss it, not desire it, nothing – would you do it?

Most people would gladly take that opportunity.

And if you would also do it, it means that you don’t really enjoy smoking. Because if you really enjoy smoking then why stop? And if you really, really enjoy smoking, then why read quit smoking related articles like this one?

You do that because a part of you knows that you don’t want to be smoking. A part of you knows that smoking offers you nothing. But as long as you believe it does and as long as you believe that smoking adds some kind of value to your life you will keep craving cigarettes.

So basically what you see as enjoyment or love or friendship, in reality, it’s an abusive relationship based on lies and fear.

You smoke because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t. Because you think you can’t live without it.

But that’s an illusion, that’s a lie, that’s what addiction is.

Addiction makes us believe we can’t live without the thing we’re addicted to. But of course, you can.

The truth is that you will be better off as a non-smoker because smoking offers you nothing. What you do as a smoker you can do better as a non-smoker.

For example, your anxiety decreases when you stop smoking and this has been proven by research as well. Just think about it. Being addicted, worrying, having cravings, having health anxiety is a source of stress all by itself. All this goes away when you stop smoking.

Or you can concentrate better as a non-smoker because you don’t have your craving mind interrupting your train of thought all the time.

And you can cope with boredom better as a non-smoker.

If smoking was so entertaining that it relieved boredom then people would buy tickets to go watch other people smoke. Just stare at them, the same way they watch football or theatre. But people don’t do that because smoking is not taking away our boredom.

On the contrary, smoking causes boredom because it drains our energy to do things.

So to sum up:

Most people think they smoke because of the physical addiction to nicotine. But smoking is a mental and a physical addiction, and the reason why you smoke is the mental addiction. The real reason why you smoke is that you believe smoking offers you something and you worry about losing that. So you are going to quit easily and never miss it again when you realize that smoking offers you nothing at all.

The Only Way to Stop Smoking Successfully

The only way you can stop smoking successfully without any feelings of deprivation is as simple are removing the 80% of the smoking addiction – the mental addiction.

Then why only 6% of smokers quit successfully?

Simple.

Because most stop smoking methods and aids out there tackle only the physical part of the nicotine addiction: the nicotine dependence.

Which is only 20% of your addiction.

In that perspective, it makes a lot of sense that only 6% of smokers end up breaking free from smoking.

Here’s how:

Nicotine substitutes– gums, patches, lozenges, and vaping- feed your body with nicotine. So they’re simply giving you the momentary illusion, that you are satisfied without your cigarettes. Apart from that, some people end up with a dependence on nicotine substitutes such as nicotine gum addiction.

Plus, nicotine substitutes do not show you how to manage stress, boredom, and keep your hands busy without nicotine. That’s why smokers go back to smoking when they get stressed.

The same goes for smoking pills. These chemicals decrease your nicotine cravings. But they don’t show you how to feel good and enjoy life without nicotine.

That’s why many smokers relapse the moment they’re off the pills.

Not to mention all the side effects.

Now using willpower to resist smoking does not keep you addicted to nicotine. And that’s great.

But pure willpower can’t remove your desire for a cigarette either.

Instead, it makes you want to smoke more.

Because when you can’t smoke, the thought of a cigarette becomes even more precious. So you eventually smoke again. (I know I’ve been there in the past – more times than I would like to admit.)

Now does that mean that quitting is hard and that we are doomed to smoke forever?
Not at all.

It just means that we’ve been trying the wrong way.

The right way to quit, and the easiest one, is to remove the 80% of your addiction BEFORE you stop supplying your body with nicotine.

Here’s why:

When you’re no longer mentally dependent on smoking, you also no longer:

• experience stress, boredom, food cravings, or irritation when you don’t smoke.
• feel that “something is missing” when you don’t smoke after your meal, or with your coffee or when you’re driving.
• feel your hands empty without a smoke.
• get tempted to smoke if your husband, a colleague, or a stranger is smoking next to you.

Best thing, when cigarettes are out of your mind, then your nicotine withdrawal symptoms are hardly noticeable.

… so quitting becomes EASY.

That’s why in the CBQ method, you first stop wanting to smoke, and then you quit.

And you do that naturally, by changing how you think about smoking.

To learn more about how to quit smoking and overcome the mental dependence on cigarettes with the CBQ method, make sure you get the foundational video of the CBQ method.

It’s free, just enter your name and email address so I can send you the video.

Click here to get the foundational video of the CBQ method so you can beat the smoking addiction once and for all. 

The TED venue is choke-full. The event has started. I’m sitting on my chair, waiting.

Am I the next speaker, or the one after? I don’t really know, I’ve lost track of time.

My heart is racing. It’s safe to assume that I was nervous.

Suddenly, The lights are getting dim. The crowd is clapping.

I hear my name. “Nasia, you are next”.

In those split seconds, I am repeating to myself” “You are greater than your addiction, you are greater than your addiction, you are greater than your addiction”. (I will tell you why in a bit.)

The more I say it, the stronger I feel.

My fear becomes excitement.

I stand up.

My feet start walking. My mind is stuck on “You are greater than your addiction”.

Before I know it, I am on the stage.

I can’t wait to show every smoker how they can break free from this addiction.

How? The rest is in this video below:

TED Talk on How to Beat Nicotine Addiction

So why was I saying “You are greater than your addiction” ?

Well, that’s my favorite sentence of this 16-minute TED talk. Because it sums up everything I stand for: That all of us can do anything we want in life.

That we are greater than our problems.

That there is always a way to achieve what seems impossible.

After all, nearly 10 years ago when I started creating this method… I couldn’t imagine I would be presenting it in a TEDx talk.

But before I explain why watching this quit smoking video now will fast-track your journey, let’s pause to go through a brief background.

About TED Talks

TED was founded in 1984 by Richard Saul Wurman, as a small, Silicon Valley annual gathering.

Although at first, TED focused on Technology, Entertainment, Design, today it covers various topics of “ideas worth spreading”.

I first heard of TED a few years ago, when someone sent me Tony Robbins’ powerful talk about what drives our behaviors and how we can change them. Since then I have been a “TED-worm”.

To cut my long story short, I was invited to do a TEDx talk about the 4 quit smoking stages of the CBQ method.

The CBQ is the method we have created and use in the CBQ Program.

This method shows you how to quit smoking naturally.

Without feeling stress.

Without willpower.

And without gaining weight.

How?

By removing your desire or need to smoke BEFORE you actually smoke your last cigarette.

Despite what you may have heard, becoming smoke-free doesn’t have to be painful.

If you are looking for an easy way to quit smoking naturally click here to request access to the exclusive video of the 4 quit smoking stages. 

If you have watched the quit smoking TED talk, you probably know what the 4 stages are. In this updated video you will learn more about each stage and get 4 exercises to get you started.

All you need to do is enter your name and email address.

Get the exclusive video of the 4 stages now.

It is free, and you will love it! (Plus, there is a surprise waiting for you at the end of the video.)

Ok so here are some of the things you will hear in this TED talk “How to Grow to A Happy Non-Smoker”:

• The 4 stages you have to go through so you can start disliking smoking without effort.
• How to easily replace the mental high your brain gets from smoking so you can feel happy while quitting
• What’s the mistake you most likely do every time you decide to stop smoking
• 3 simple steps to stop feeling like a smoker, even if you’ve been smoking for all your life
• How your thoughts can affect your body without you realizing it
• Why you need to find things to do instead of smoking – before you quit.
• Why thinking about NOT smoking makes you wanna smoke more (or else the Pink Elephant Principle)
• A simple, powerful exercise to overcome cigarette cravings, food cravings and anxious, negative thinking
• The one thing that will keep you away from cigarettes after you quit
• …and so much more

Click here to watch my TED talk on how to overcome the smoking addiction.

Last thing. Many of you emailed me asking me for the transcript of this TED talk.

So here it is:

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TED Talk on Addiction Video Transcript

How to Grow to a Happy Non-Smoker

It was a cloudy Saturday afternoon and I was about to leave my office when suddenly, my bell rings. I open the door and I see a colorful well-dressed lady- really classy.

Melissa, who is a single mother of two and a very successful lawyer, came to me desperate to quit smoking. By the time we met, she had been smoking for 36 years up to 2 and a half packs a day… and she had developed lung cancer, because of smoking.

She was on the list for a transplant, but her doctors wouldn’t operate on her because she was still smoking. And Melisa had tried to quit with every method out there, from nicotine gums and patches to smoking pills and even vaping. But she couldn’t stay away from her cigarettes. Every time she managed to quit for a few weeks, she fell into depression, gained weight and even had suicidal thoughts.

At this point, you might say: “how is it possible to have a terminal disease because of smoking and not quit?”

And let me tell you, Melissa was wondering too. In our first conversation, she told me at least 3 times: “I know that every cigarette I smoke brings me closer to death. I don’t want to die, but I still smoke. What’s wrong with me?”

So, you understand that being in that position, Melissa was afraid of dying, and on top of that, she felt guilty for smoking. But she kept on smoking.

Why?

Smoking activates the reward areas of your brain, like the nucleus accumbens, that cause you to release feel-good chemicals, like dopamine. So you smoke, again and again to replicate the pleasurable effects of dopamine.

It is not the nicotine that makes smoking really addictive. It’s the instant change it brings to your emotional state.

So, I asked Melissa: “What do you need to feel in your life right now?” At first, her face was clouded, she was puzzled. And then she raised her head and looked at me like someone had turned on a switch in her brain.

She told me: Certainty. And you could see it in her face; her eyes were wide open, she couldn’t believe what she had said.

You see, in the face of the uncertainty of death, smoking was offering her a sense of certainty, because she knew she could get an instant fix of pleasure at any time.

And ALL smokers smoke either to boost a good emotional state or to escape from a bad one.

When you are stressed, you smoke to relax and feel better. That’s an escape. When you are having a drink, you smoke to enjoy your drink even more. That’s a boost.

In any case, the motive for smoking is to feel good. In fact, that’s what all self-destructive behaviors have in common. They are driven by emotions. When you repeatedly do something that hurts you is not because you are insane. It’s because it gives you an immediate emotional reward. That’s why Melisa’s need for pleasure was greater than her need to survive.

So, I thought, if a smoker can feel the same pleasure without smoking, then quitting will be easy.

So, the question is: how can we stimulate this mental high in non-destructive ways?

Professor Martha Burns found that learning something new and exciting activates the same reward areas of the brain as do drugs and gambling.

When you have an “aha” moment, when you hear something inspirational, when you meet someone new or when you learn something new about yourself- when your consciousness expands in general – your brain releases dopamine and you feel happy.

And the most consistent way to feel happy and excited when quitting smoking, is by learning something new about yourself while quitting smoking. So, it is through self-development that we can stimulate dopamine in our brain, so we can, literally, outgrow our addictions.

And after digging deep and modeling the psychology of addiction, me and my team found the exact mental and behavioral stages that take you through the spectrum of change and cause this mental high of self-development. These are the 4Cs. (Of the CBQ Method).

TED Talk Addiction Part 2

But I’m going to come back to stage 1 in the end because it’s the most important one. And people tend to forget this stage, so they fail and struggle.

So, what is the second stage?

You can’t change a behavior for good without first changing your mindset about that behavior.

So, the second stage is Change your mindset. During this stage you start changing how you think about smoking, quitting smoking and yourself.

To change your mindset and start thinking of yourself as a non-smoker, you need to change your identity, your emotions, and your beliefs.

You can’t grow if you don’t tackle all 3 elements.

Think about it; if you want to change your body and lose 20 pounds, you first have to be able to see the slimmer version of you and identify with it.

Then this slimmer version of you has to make you feel good.

And third, you have to believe that you can do it.

I remember I asked Melisa, do you want to quit smoking? She said yes, of course! Then I paused, I looked at her, and I asked her: do you believe you can quit smoking? And she kept staring at me.

Because, desire manifest in words- beliefs manifest in behavior.  The way you behave around smokers, the way you behave around cigarettes when you are alone, all depend on whether or not you believe you can become a non-smoker.

So, before you quit, you have to be able to see yourself as a non-smoker,

Then the idea of being a non-smoker has to make you feel good,

And most importantly, you have to believe that quitting is possible. Even more, you have to believe that YOU specifically can quit.

Now the next stage is where you eliminate your smoking behavior. And in order to do that, you have to Change your smoking pattern.

Most smokers think that all they have to do to quit is resist cigarettes with willpower until the desire to smoke fades away. But that’s the hard way to quit.

Because your smoking behavior, which is the action of taking a cigarette, putting it in your mouth and lighting it up, is just the tip of the iceberg.

Every cigarette you light up is proceeded by your thought of smoking and your emotional state.

Our thoughts affect our emotions, and our emotions affect our behaviors.

For example, if someone thinks of themselves as weak, they will feel weak, and if they feel weak, they will show weakness in their behavior.

Or… Someone who thinks of themselves as attractive, they will feel attractive, and when you feel attractive, you behave differently, you hold yourself differently, you speak differently.

The same way, having positive thoughts while smoking like: “I feel good now, or I enjoy this cigarette”, leads to positive emotions about smoking and positive emotions about smoking, reinforce your smoking behavior.

So, you will stop picking up a cigarette, only when you change how you feel while smoking. And to do that, you first have to change what your mind thinks while smoking.

So, let’s see what happens inside the smoker’s mind, during a craving.

When you’re trying to quit, you have an internal dialogue that goes something like that:

– “I want a cigarette.”

– “Don’t smoke.”

– “But I want a cigarette.”

– “You can’t have a cigarette. Don’t do it.”

While having an internal dialogue like that, 3 things happen:

1. The image that preoccupies your mind is that of a cigarette.
2. Your thoughts begin and end with the word cigarette.

So, you will definitely…

3. Feel deprived and suffer during a craving, if all you think about is that you can’t have that cigarette.

And if you keep saying to yourself: “don’t smoke”, well that’s a problem, because your mind, or better, your unconscious mind cannot process negatives. Let me explain that thought. Actually, let’s do an experiment together!

So now I want you NOT to think of a pink elephant.

No matter what you think do NOT think of a pink elephant

No matter what you do NOT think of a pink elephant

Do NOT think of a pink elephant.

What were you thinking?

Of a pink elephant!

You see, your mind cannot take negative orders.

I didn’t write anything, and I didn’t show you any picture of a pink elephant, because I wanted you to see how powerful your thoughts can be, even without visual stimulation.

But in case you were wondering, that’s how a pink elephant would look like.

And the pink elephant principle applies to everything.

For instance, what happens when you tell a kid: “Don’t go there” or “Don’t do this?”

They usually, if not always, do the opposite.

Because this is how you create in their mind the urgency to disobey.

And you do the same thing to yourself when you want to smoke, and you say: “Don’t smoke” or “I can’t smoke!”.

So, to get to my point, you create a feeling of urgency that is overwhelming.

You see nothing else, you think of nothing, and you want nothing else other than smoking.

So how do you change your thinking during a craving?

The battery that charges our internal dialogue is the words we use.

The words create images; the words create thoughts, and the words ultimately define, how your mind and body will experience the craving.

Imagine dragging your fingernails across a chalkboard.

Did you get the chills?

You didn’t touch a chalkboard, yet your thoughts affected your body.

The same way, when you say the word cigarette in your inner talk, all your mental processes will revolve around cigarettes, so you physically experience the craving as more intense.

So, what you have to do, is replace the word cigarette with another one.

What works, is replacing the word cigarette with “air”. So instead of thinking “I want a cigarette” think “I want air”, “I need air”, “Give me some air”.

You are not going to picture, feel and do the same things if you use the word “cigarette” and “air”. So, you will experience your craving in a completely different way. So, next time you have a craving, say- and say it out loud! “I want air, freedom, popcorn”. – Seriously – Use any word or phrase that resonates with you. For example, Melissa used the names of her children.

And the more you practice your craving word, the more vividly and effortlessly it will come to your mind the next time. So, I encourage you to try it, because If you know, you can control your cravings for a cigarette, you will quit smoking. And you can use this technique to overcome food cravings, alcohol cravings, and negative thinking.

Now, the next stage determines if you will relapse.

Have you ever learned a new skill – like a foreign language, a musical instrument, or a card game …? – and as the time passed without practicing that skill… you totally forgot it?

If that has happened to you, is because you didn’t condition that skill. Conditioning something you have learned is as important as learning it.

So, the fourth stage is Condition your smoke-free life.

Because becoming a non-smoker is like any skill; you first have to learn it, and then you have to condition it. That’s how you can forget your smoking pattern.

And the best way to forget is to replace.

So, what you have to do this time, is replace smoking altogether with a new beneficial and healthy habit. A Habit, that will help you satisfy the same emotional needs that you used to meet by smoking.

Melissa chose to replace smoking with journalism. And the process of learning and developing a new skill helped her brain find new means to release dopamine. And it still does. So that’s how Melisa quit, had a successful surgery and remains a happy non-smoker up to this day.

But we have one thing left.

I told you I’m going to leave this until the end because all of the previous stages wouldn’t mean as much without this.

So before doing Anything else, you have to Choose to quit.

Everything starts with a decision. Everything you have ever done that has made the person you are today, is because you made a decision- or failed to make one.

But even not making a decision about how you want your health and your life to be in the future, then this is a decision too right?

The mistake Melissa was making was putting down the facts, and then expecting to feel motivated to quit because it’s the logical thing to do. But her logic could not overpower the emotional connection she had with smoking.

Smoking is an emotional behavior so the decision to quit should also be emotional. And it was when Melisa focused only on how her death would affect her children, that she was able to get leverage on herself and choose to change.

And you; have you ever said, about anything: “That’s it! I’ve had enough! This has to change!”

In your family, in your relationships, in your career, anywhere.

And immediately you stepped up and did things you never thought you could.

You see the problem is not that you are too weak, too stuck or too addicted.

The problem is that you have never used your emotions to take a real firm decision to change.

And If you choose, change your mindset, change your behavior and then condition, you will see yourself transforming before your eyes.

I’m telling you this, because no matter where you live, what lifestyle you have, or how long you’ve been smoking, overeating, drinking or holding your true self back in any way, the 4c’s self-development system works, because the psychology of addiction works under the same principles for all humans.

And YOU are greater than your addiction.

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The TED talk along with the exclusive video of the 4 stages are the only quit smoking videos you need to quit smoking for good.

Before you go, remember to share this post so we can reach out to anyone who needs to remember that they too, are greater than their addiction!

Here’s my take on Johann Hari’s captivating and insightful Ted Talk on addiction.

Hari explains that the only way you can get overcome an addiction is by leveraging a new connection in your social surroundings.

In other words, bond deeply with the people around you, find something exciting to live for or remove from your life the things or people that drain you emotionally.
And the same applies to smoking. Smoking is an addiction. And it’s especially hard to quit because it becomes part of your daily routine. It becomes your friend, your comfort and it’s always available to you.

In my experience, I have seen that people smoke either to boost a good emotional state or to escape from a bad one. We smoke to relieve stress, boredom or sadness. We also smoke to enjoy a happy moment – from chatting with a friend to drinking a cup of coffee in the morning.

That’s true whether you smoke 10 or 30 cigarettes per day; whether you started smoking yesterday or 40 years ago.

So what do we understand from this about quitting smoking?

1. You don’t need to use willpower, nicotine substitutes or chemicals to quit smoking

You are not addicted because you want to smoke. You are addicted because you choose to smoke.
So quitting smoking doesn’t have to do with will. It has to with the deeper emotional needs you try to meet.

• In the willpower method, you try to resist the cigarette you desire. But the desire is still there- so you suffer.
• Using nicotine gums and patches is not going to give you the freedom you seek. Because you remain physically addicted to nicotine. And at the same time, you fall into the trap of thinking that the nicotine is the only reason you’re still smoking. So you forget to deal with the emotional reasons behind it.
• Using smoking tablets is the worst thing you can do. Because these chemicals create depressive feelings and even suicidal thoughts. So while you ‘re quitting smoking the only thing you want to do… is to smoke.

As you can see, all the above methods deal with removing the smoking behavior- not the core of the problem.

You must remove the emotional baggage that keeps you stuck to smoking. So you need a strategy.

2. You have to go through certain psychological stages to quit smoking without pain

Otherwise, you will always feel that you are missing cigarettes. So you might go back to smoking during a stressful period in your life.

So what you have to do to be free is:

• Remove the emotional connection you have with cigarettes. The CBQ method, – that my TED talk is all about-  shows you how to feel better without your smokes.

• Find satisfaction and connection in other things instead of smoking.  You heard Johann Hari. I couldn’t agree with him more.

And that’s exactly why the CBQ method, that has a total 94% success rate, shows you how to replace smoking with another healthy/non-addictive/non-dependable habit. Get the 4 quit smoking stages of the CBQ method.

So not only you CAN quit smoking naturally, but most importantly you can do it without going through pain.

You can quit feeling better than ever- physically, emotionally and mentally.

Where to start?

If you want to prepare for your next quit attempt having absolute confidence in yourself, then you need to follow the 4 quit smoking stages of the CBQ method.

Click here to get the exclusive video where I explain how to quit smoking using these 4 simple stages. (name and an email address needed to send you the link to the video)