Imagine being smoke-free for 24 hours.
Good for your confidence and your health.
But the moment you get stressed, you light up a cigarette, and you’re back to square one.
What do you do then?
You learn how to handle stress BEFORE smoking your last cigarette.
That’s what Mary did. Mary is a 48-year-old accountant; married with a 14-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son.
By the time we met, Mary had been smoking for 31 years around 1 pack a day.
Mary has a colorful personality: caring, fun but really- really– stressed.
Her family is her everything. But the toll of her busy life was increasing her anxiety and affecting her personal and professional life.
So she was smoking to manage her stress. And although she treasured her alone-time with a cigarette, she hated being a smoker.
But it was only after her doctor warned her that her lungs were not functioning properly… that she really felt the pressure.
“I felt it’s urgent to quit for my children no matter how much I need it to relax,” she said, “I wanted just to quit and never think about it again.”
And Mary did try to quit, many times, with nicotine patches, gums and even vaping.
But she couldn’t stay away from cigarettes for more than a couple of days.
Because she was abstaining from cigarettes. Not quitting them.
And there’s a BIG difference between “quitting” and “abstaining.”
Abstaining from smoking means continuously using your willpower to resist smoking.
Quitting smoking means not wanting to smoke anymore.
Abstaining from smoking means PAUSING your habit.
Quitting smoking means ENDING it.
When you pause your addiction, you are doomed to resume it. When you end it, you are free.
Here’s how Mary recognized the #1 thing holding her back from really quitting smoking and turned it around to switch to a healthy lifestyle.
Why Mary Couldn’t Quit Successfully
Mary was doing a lot of things right. She didn’t allow anyone to smoke inside her house and she even threw away her ashtrays.
But she still had one problem. Every stressful thought led her back to smoking cigarettes.
“When I was sorting out our bills, or when I had an argument with my husband or my boss… I wanted a smoke more than anything in the world. I needed it. So I smoked.
The problem is that I was blaming everyone else for not feeling ready to quit. Until I realized that I was obviously doing something wrong. I just didn’t know how to relax without smoking.”
So Mary started looking for things to do when she was stressed.
“I spent a lot of time and money on nicotine gums, patches and vaping- you know, the kind of stuff you can do instead of smoking. But it wasn’t working. I still felt anxious when I didn’t have a cigarette near me.”
Then fate stepped in…
“CBQ Method was a Facebook suggestion based on some other pages I’ve liked”, said Mary, “I followed that to the website where I read all the free stuff and attended the free introductory webinar that leads up to the CBQ Program. After reading many reviews about Nasia Davos and quitting smoking with the CBQ Method, I decided to give it a try.”
My hesitation was you didn’t really know what the flow of an online course would be, and the other side was convincing my husband it was worth that much money!”
“But I convinced him,” Mary laughed, “he could tell that I was really serious about it. I kept telling him that the CBQ method is really good. I needed to find ways to relax from stress while quitting, and I needed to cope with my problems without cigarettes in general. And the CBQ method did exactly that.”
“I hope you won’t get mad, but I shared with my husband that video where you give this technique that makes you stop thinking about smoking, and it changed his mind completely.
It showed him there was a lot of meat. This wasn’t ‘throw your cigarettes and wake up the next day waiting for a miracle’, it was more like ‘watch the videos, do the exercises, and you will learn how to be a non-smoker.”
How Mary Smashed her Anxiety while Quitting Smoking with the CBQ Method
What made the biggest difference for Mary were the lessons of Day #8 of the CBQ Program.
“Whenever I had a craving, I’d think about it in terms of ‘what should I say to myself, what should I do to relax without smoking?’ I kind of knew I have to do something when I have a craving, but before using the CBQ method, I didn’t really know how important it was and how to do it. So I wasn’t doing it. Instead, I was eating. ”
Why relaxing from stress matters so much?
“Well, when you feel stress, all you want is to take a puff. And if you don’t see through your anxiety, then you will smoke. Or eat and then smoke anyway.
Now I know how to calm down when I have a problem or when my boss is unreasonable and unfair. I can actually prepare and be ready for stress. That was really a turning point for me in my life. “
Mary spent over 10 hours learning how to manage her stress while quitting smoking.
A lot of that was practicing with her husband and children.
“They’d push my buttons and wait for my reaction. The first time they challenged me I wasn’t that good, but the second time I was way better.”
“I’ve thought a lot about it over the last few weeks,” said Mary, “I haven’t changed as a mother, a wife or a person. I am still alert, caring, fun, loving and sarcastic. What I’ve changed is my ability to shine through the clutter of my stress. Since I quit I’ve been much more relaxed, and I don’t get agitated that easily.”
How much is that worth to you?
Mary quit smoking, and when it came to reflect on how her investment paid off, she realized how far she’d come.
“In terms of money, I saved over $2000 in the last year. As an ex-smoker, I was able to get a better deal on life insurance, and my medical bills have decreased. Funny thing, I also got a raise!”
Mary’s family is enjoying her more than ever.
“I am really proud of myself, and my family is really proud of me too. The odd breathing problems I had in my late 40s, disappeared.
And I didn’t put on a single pound because I didn’t miss smoking. Now I can play with my children without coughing, and I can focus better on my work and finish faster because I don’t have to take cigarette breaks!
The most important thing for me was showing my family how much I care for them.
And the worry of getting cancer or COPD and becoming a burden to them… is gone.
Ah! And I realized that most of the times I was fighting with my husband, were when I needed to smoke. Now that’s behind me. I am so much better off without this filthy habit- I feel free.”
You can bet Mary is finally having her peace of mind now.
What the Future Has in Store for Mary.
Mary isn’t done yet – she’s looking towards the future. “Next year I plan to get another raise so I can take my whole family on vacation and support my mother financially.”
And she’s using the CBQ strategies to keep her stress levels as low as possible and maintain her smoke-free life.
“This might be my first year as a smoke-free woman, but I know that whenever I feel anxious, I can check the CBQ exercises.”
Mary realized that the problem with failing to quit smoking, was just not having the right plan. So she did the right exercises, in the right sequence. That’s how she was super prepared for each craving.
The result? A healthier lifestyle, a calmer mind and a better relationship with her loved ones.
Key Takeaways- Tips
- Nicotine gums, patches and vaping won’t help you quit if you are stressed
- When you have a craving try to do something to keep your hands and mind busy
- Make a list of all the things that stress you out when quitting. Then role-play these situations with your family and friends. This will prepare you for the next time something stressful happens.
- Quitting smoking WILL improve your health, finances, relationships AND lower your stress levels.
*We always use pseudonyms to protect our members’ privacy.